Introduction to my D.C. (Howard) Friends

Okay, I've realized when talking to Anu (my soul mate) that it's hard keeping up with the important people that are part of my Howard life. And one of the goals of this blog is to keep everyone updated and somewhat included on what's going on therefore you need to know my best friends are here, lol.

When I first came to Howard exactly one year ago it was very scary for me. I didn't really know how to socialize, you know us Reedies aren't really gifted with that lol, but I met these two girls randomly at one of the orientation luncheons; and this is back when I was trying to come off as straight, notice I said TRIED lol, so I was very cautious with how I interacted with them. However Desiree Spencer (right) and Phylicia Edwards (left) were still extremely friendly and definitely contributed to making me feel comfortable at Howard. If it wasn't for these two girls I probably wouldn't have given Howard the chance and ran back to Reed within the first couple of days, lol. Even though I am not as close to them as I would like to be today we still are friends and my day instantly brightens up whenever I see them.

Now if y'all think I'm a socialite or "social butterfly" as so many at Reed put it, my best friend Kivon Allen (infamously known as Kivvy) definitely make me seem like a recluse in comparison. When I first met Kivvy I honestly wanted to stay as far away from him as possible. I guess I had all these prejudices and misconceptions of masculinity. Also, I believe I was scared, Kivvy is so bold and out there and at the time as I've stated earlier I was cautious, because I know how judgemental Blacks can be. Kivvy has opened my eyes to so much about being whoever we are with no shame. There are very few people that make me question my fundamental beliefs and Kivvy was one of them. He helped disable my formerly cemented prejudices against myself and my own "masculinity" (if that makes sense). Being friends with Kivvy definitely has its challenges, such as constantly feeling under dressed lol, but those challenges are consistently overcome by his unacknowledged brilliance and beauty. I love him to death and it's very rare that you find someone who you just know you're going to be friends with for life no matter what happens, no matter where you are geographically, and Kivvy is definitely one who will be stuck with me for life, lol.

Now y'all know I love my internationals! Especially international men! Give me an accent and I'll immediately go crazy, lol, ok maybe that was too much information but umm yeah that's what first ignited my friendship with Ricardo Carlos (Ricky). Then to find out that the negro, or islander (whatever you call someone from Trinidad lol), was basically married just instantly broke my heart lol. But from the moment we first met I knew we were going to be best friends because you know how you first meet someone you exchange names (that you're gonna forget later or at least I will) and you go on about your lives.....maybe you'll facebook friend them if you didn't immediately hate them lol. But NOOOOOO with Ricky tell me why we sat outside and sat on one of those hard uncomfortable Howard benches for hours in the dark probably getting eaten by bugs! Ricky reminds me a lot of Anu, except Anu is waaaaaaaaaaaay less of a diva, like seriously, lol. But just like Anu and I never agree on anything, it's similar with Ricky and I. Ricky is the rational/logical one in our friendship just like Anu is, even though I usually never admit it to either of them, lol, so I must be in an unusually good mood, lol.

Normally all you have to say is that you're from Houston, Texas and I'm instantly won over right, I mean obviously if you're from Texas than you're automatically amazing! lol. In all seriousness I love Nijeul Porter not just because of the amazing fact he's from Houston but mostly because he probably seen me at my worse and still manages not to be scared off. You know those friends who are there for you no matter what, those friends who manages to tolerate you no matter what mood you're in, no matter what you're going through, Nijeul is definitely one of those friends. He doesn't know it but Nijeul definitely continues to be an inspiration to me, his passion to succeed is incomparable and contagious. This passion also keeps him exceptionally busy doing God knows what for the theater department so I NEVER see him but every now and then he'll remember that I exist and give me a call.

Another person I don't get to see enough is Darius Holloway. He has a frustrating habit of calling me "senior citizen" lol.. well because I'm the oldest out of all my friends here. I don't have much to say about Darius though other than he's the charmer out of all my friends and will set you straight in a heart beat so don't be fooled by that charm, lol.

Tyjuane Sharpe is ghetto as hell! There is no joking about it, lol, talk about being a D.C. local lol, even though he's technically from VA but it's all the same to me. When I first met Tyjuane he couldn't stop talking about how he can dance better than Chris Brown and he sincerely believes it to the point where now I'm somewhat convinced lol. I remember when Anu visited me last year I was surprised how well Tyjuane and her clicked. Like it was something out of a sci-fi movie because they have two completely different personalities, lol. But I love him to death though, even though he stole my favorite pair of jeans and have the audacity to look better in them than I do! But if you ever heard me say "I'm so blown..." I got it from him, lol, and it means upset before y'all start imagining the wrong things lol.

And last but obviously not least is Dherek Mitchell. I miss Dherek a lot even though we argue so much whenever we are together but at least it's about important stuff. I believe our last argument was on privilege vs hard work and I probably lost every single argument lol mostly because I was out yelled lol... Unfortunately, I'm not blessed with his presence at the moment but D.C. / Howard is definitely different without him and I'm going to need him to comeback soon, I have a sense that he's going to get at me about for being a fan of Sarah Palin lol. But even though Dherek has no problem voicing his opinion, no matter how much volume it takes, lol, he is one of the most compassionate individuals I have ever met and definitely one who understands love and friendship.

So there you go everyone, these are my main friends in D.C.. There are several more but I either wasn't sure if they would object to their names being plastered all over my blog, w/ their picture, or we just need more time to develop something more meaningful. So now when I say "Nijeul and I visited the White House to turn it Black..." you'll know exactly who I'm talking about lol...

Trying Yet Rewarding Times

I was getting kind of down this morning, well I was more discouraged than anything, after a disappointing conversation with my boss at the bookstore. The conversation itself wasn't necessarily what discouraged me but it made me realizes that my goals and the plan I had in mind to achieve through my return to Howard weren't coming to fruit. Then it started to make me think about how none of my goals I had set for myself on graduating from Chinquapin have yet to be achieved and they seem to be more distant as the days pass. When I allow myself to be in this discouraged mindset it's so easy to just focus on the negatives in my life. But I refuse to trap myself in a discouraged mindset, I refuse to lose faith in God and myself that through hard work everything will turnout beautifully. So this morning in order to re-energize myself I intentionally started looking and focusing on the positives of my situation. For instance because my current job is lacking organization I get the opportunity to search for another job, one that I would actually enjoy working at. So far, I'm applying for a paid internship at the Human Rights Campaign here in D.C.. If I get this position the job pays almost $200 more a week than what I get paid at the bookstore. Now the truth is I might not get it but I know for a fact that this search for another job will lead to a better more appropriate job for me.

What's more important, however, is that this is not just a trying time for me, this whole country is going through a trying time. Millions of people are without electricity in Texas because of Hurricane Ike, everywhere you look another major corporation is being balled out by the government, and we're fed even more negative news everyday about our own personal lives. If we were to just look at the surface of everything it would be easy to grow disappointed and be consumed with negativity. But we must also recognize the miracles that happen in our lives, the blessings, situations that are encouraging and inspires hope. For instance our country is actually awake now, non-profit organizations, donations, and other types of good will towards mankind as a whole has never been higher and more popular than now. Even in politics, sometimes the most discouraging factor in our society, we're experiencing miracles. No matter who you are going to support this election, no matter who wins we will have elected someone who has historically been neglected, oppressed and thought of as objects. Both parties are more in touch with the actual lives of the American people than man have seen in a very long time, now they both have different solutions to our problems but they're focusing on them. We have so much freedom to turn our lives around, to improve them we just have to have faith and trust that even when we're experiencing troubling times that we're going to be better off in the long run and to never focus solely on the negatives that are in our lives because that prevents us from seeing what is also good.

That's just what's been on my mind these past couple of days while trying to get things in order with my school work, definitely my job, and within my own personal life..... don't ever let yourself get discouraged, we have to stay strong, we have to stay focused, we have to continue believing...

Governor Sarah Palin...Yes I'm a Fan

Ok!  Yall know that I'm a passionate supported of Senator Obama, well I'm more passionate about his wife but who cares, the Obamas I love them and I want them in the White House.  Also, I find Senator McCain annoying at this point, a poor OLD (and I don't care if that's ageist) fool who felt left out by his party so he became "independent" and now doing whatever he can to accomplish what he's been DYING for since he came back from Vietnam.  :)  Okay that's harsh and somewhat catty but for a man that once was actually respected by a wide range of people from both parties he has really tarnished his reputation as being a "maverick" at this point of the presidential campaign and refuses to focus on actual solutions to our most pressing issues we as Americans are facing right now.

However, the smartest thing Senator McCain has done in this entire race is pick Sarah Palin as his VP candidate, no one ever guessed or predicted it, it created this huge media frenzy and re-energized Republicans nationally.  All this is well known.  At first I was saying exactly what most liberals were saying, "Sarah Palin is wrong for this country" "she's from Alaska!  What the hell can anything from Alaska do for us?"  but as I begin to look into her more I realized that I actually love this woman!  Okay this is surprising to some and not so surprising to others I know.  But based off of the one interview she has really done so far, which can be seen here, she really showed how much of a brilliant politician she is.  I feel she carries the same forcefulness and sternness that Hilary Clinton is famous for but she's not as aggressive with it and annoying.  Also, I realized that dismissing Gov. Palin because she's from Alaska is sort of disrespectful and elitist.  I mean I have never been to Alaska, I have no idea what types of problems exist their and what she faced as mayor/governor.  These things should be looked into before we automatically dismiss her from being from America's closest state to Russia, lol.

Gov. Palin was smart with having her first interview done in Alaska where it showed her humble home and neighborhood, the high school or college she graduated from and how she still remains very involved in her local communities.  Her house is only two stories, I mean she came off as very down to earth and like a common person, someone you could meet just walking down the street, well not any streets where there are Black people lol but like the Galleria area if you're familiar with Houston or the NW area in Portland or the Georgetown area in D.C..  I value that, I want somebody in the White House who's not a career politician and consumed with the economic benefits of being a career politician.

I agree with Gov. Palin on many issues including abortion and gun laws.  I mean she made the argument that gun control is theoretically pointless, watch the interview and you'll see the brilliant things she say about it.  But what was really impressive about Gov. Palin was her answer to homosexuality, she basically said she has no right to judge and that she has members in her family with "diverse" lifestyles as do most Americans.  I loved that answer and now whenever I see her speak I actually listen instead of immediately dismissing her commentary as insignificant.  Gov. Palin is an extremely intelligent woman, she will definitely add diversity to Washington politics and she is a queen when it comes to political strategy, something Obama has been lacking lately.

Furthermore, most arguments that are used against Gov. Palin can also be applied to Senator Obama, the fact that she's inexperienced, has no real foreign policy experience, and that she's politically unknown, all of these are Obama's faults too but at least she's just running as a VP candidate NOT for President like Obama.  As of right now, the only thing I don't like about her is her voice, lol, now that mess is annoying as hell, especially when she's yelling at a campaign rally, she sounds like Karen from Will & Grace, that in itself almost made me turn off the interview but I tolerated it, cause you know we're suppose to be more tolerant towards each other but it was hard!

Gov. Palin is not enough for me to switch my support from Senator Obama but she is definitely bringing change to Republican politics, the Republican power structure is no longer exclusive to White men mainly from the South.  I am hoping that if Senator McCain lose he would be dumped again by the Republican party and Gov. Palin will be embraced and viewed as the party's new leader.  If this happens then I'll be tempted to re-register as a Republican, especially if Michelle don't keep Senator Obama inline lol.

Experiencing Disappointment w/ "my own" People

Most of my life I have been uncomfortable around Black people for mainly one reason, the fact that they would be able to somehow detect that I'm gay.  This is a large reason why I originally wanted to go to a mostly White college/university in the first place, I assumed that Whites would be more accepting of my sexuality.  The fear of my own people started back in middle school, while I was attending one of the worse schools in Houston, when I got jumped by a group of students in a staircase for walking funny (and obviously being jumped didn't change my walk at all, lol).  Even though at the time I didn't view my walk as an expression of my gayness and definitely wasn't at the point of accepting my sexuality, I knew I was "weird" in a sense just didn't have a label for it.  After being jumped, I automatically assumed that this is forever going to be the reaction from Black people to my "weirdness".  Tell this day the people I am least comfortable around are Black heterosexual men and of course it's not because of this one silly incident that happened in middle school but after experiencing a decade almost of similar acts of hatred towards my sexuality mostly committed by the same identity group it became a socially conditioned prejudice of mine.

But my prejudice is not the point of this blog entrance lol, c'mon now you should know I'm not going to focus on my own flaws lol.  My frustrations mostly lies with the fact that I love Howard, I love my friends here at Howard and most of my friends here are gay black men and a couple of women or "fish" as the gays here call them lol (no offense).  So when I first came to Howard I was definitely surrounded in this bubble of black gay culture that sort of neglects to pay attention to the prejudices that we face by our peers who just happen to be mostly heterosexual black men.  But because I'm coming back to Howard under different circumstances perhaps I feel like I've been looking beyond my own bubble that I was originally engulfed in and some of the things I'm seeing are not pretty at all.  I hate the fact that as a gay black man I'm suppose to practice "discretion" when it comes to my sexuality, especially if the heteros are around.  I hate the fact that we're talked about, judged and laughed at by these hetero blk men.  I hate the fact that these conceptions of gender, masculinity, sexuality and what's right and wrong in regards to these identities have all been defined by these heterosexual men and that we cater to them, we define ourselves based off their perceptions and twisted mentality.

However, what is most frustrating about this is I would think that Black people, out of any race/ethnicity, would understand the effects of prejudice and how wrong it is to view a group of people as unequals.  It's really ironic that the most accepted I have ever felt of my sexuality has been among White people, it trips me out, the race that has arguably spread the most hate and constructed a whole western civilization based off of this hate manages to be so accepting of me being  gay.  However, a group of people that historically and presently experience mental and physical abuse based off of their culture and skin color and has fought to create an understanding and dominate mentality of equality for ALL people manages to be some of the most homophobic individuals I have ever faced.  It's frustrating and I don't understand it.  People argue that it's our religion that has created this prejudice against gays.  I do not believe this is true.  If you look at the ACTIONS of all of our lives you will see that religion is becoming less and less relevant by generation.  It is perfectly okay for a hetero blk male to sleep around with a different girl every weekend but don't let him be gay, WAIT he probably is on the DL though, but anyways if he's gay he's somehow worse?  If he's gay he's abdnormal, correction if he's openly gay.  Apparently it's okay to be DL just don't let anyone find out, especially the women who you're using to convince everyone that you're a hetero. 

My point is prejudice against gays is dumb as hell, even for religious reasons because we all are sinful in nature and no one is perfect so I cannot and try not to judge you because only God can be the judge and I'm not going to be arrogant enough to proclaim myself God so forgive me for expecting you not to.  But prejudice against gays is ESPECIALLY dumb within the Black community because we should know a thing or two about being treated unequally and not accepted as normal or even human.  Our Black men should know how it feels not to be seen or defined as a man but something less then, something even animalistic that should be laughed at and treated like a dog. 

SORRY, lol, now that was the 1st and last rant for this month, I promise lol and I don't know if I was making any sense sort of being rushed out of the computer lab lol... the next post will be about Mrs. Palin and how I'm falling in love with her, I know you can't wait to read it!  :)

Arriving in D.C. & the first few weeks

This blog is meant to keep all of the people I care about and have touched me in some way informed on what's going on in my life, my thoughts, and experiences. When I left Portland I had a host of feelings and emotions. So many people has touched my life in Portland and helped developed me into the person I am today. There are also several people who I can never repay for the kindness and love they have shown me. Leaving Portland was an extremely humbling experience and it made me fully realize how important friends, mentors, and people in general are.



I have been in D.C. for 3 weeks now and it definitely seems like longer. So much has happened already and time is going by so fast. I am currently only taking 4 classes at Howard, my two favorite classes so far is Colloquium on 20th Century Unitied States History & Colloquium on Race, Gender, & Law in Modern European History. Ironically these two classes are very similiar to Reed's "conference" style format. I'm loving being back in D.C., I love the people I'm surrounded by however I constantly feel like something is missing and I'm often finding myself thinking of people at Reed. In addition to my classes I'm also working at the school's bookstore being customer service representative, lol, they have real official titles at Howard. I find myself wanting to get involved but very hesitant of course lol. I do not want to get distracted ya know? lol..... this semester I most want to focus on school, saving money, and developing positive friendships. It's hard though because this is the perfect time to get involved politically w/ Congress, omg lol... like it's so hard not to pass by my old internship office and ask if they have anymore positions for me and give them a smile they can't say no to lol.. jk... but seriously it's hard!

Anyways, the other purpose of this blog is just communicate ideas, theories, and opinions that we Reedies are so prone to doing! lol.. Like I have so much to say about this Obama-Biden ticket lol.. like talk about a disappointing choice ALREADY and he's not even president yet, Lord what are we getting into but if I don't support him I think I'll get excommunicated fromt the black community lol jk, omg especially here at Howard, I haven't met a single person who isn't passionate about Obama. And y'all know I dont like to fall into the crowd lol.. so I might have to do some research on my girl Palin and see what's up w/ her lol.. :) I'm just teasing..I'm no longer a registered Republican anyways lol.. thanks to Obama..

But yeah yall let me know what's going on! You know my email address, it's posted on here and you might be able to respond directlyt o this post.... I will be updating this CONSTANTLY so always check it out... even if I'm just ranting about some homophobe making a comment as I walk by with my gifted walk lol which is bound to happen being surrounded by these blk folks lol.... that part will definitely make me miss Portland... LOVE YOU ALL... update me on what's going on in your lives! Like immediately lol...