10,000 Emotions in 5 seconds

I have accomplished nothing this year and that reality came rushed to my attention today. Sure, one of my friends would argue that I've had internships, worked on a couple of side projects, gained some "work experience" but nothing that propels me forward in life or in a direction of achieving my goals. I even experienced an emotion close enough to love I ever want to come close to recently and somehow I've convinced myself experiencing that was/is important in life. How can you truly live and never have loved? Well today the reality of everything sent me into an emotional roller-coaster, one second I lost all hope, drive, ambition, the next phase was depression, then suddenly optimism somewhere, a prayed a couple of time here and there, I gave up, re-encouraged myself, gave up again, one tear fell, then suddenly I've never been happier. Why? I have no idea.

Well, not true I immediately wanted to re-launch this blog. I wanted to pour out my emotions in writing. I want to get back into writing. Then suddenly I got excited. Excited!? I still haven't figured that out.

I'm about to go meet up with one of my best friends right now to talk about "my situation". I'm horrible at communicating, this will be awkward, full of questions I won't know how to fully answer, and potentially frustrating for both of us. *sigh*

Updated Mission for this Blog

Well it has been longer than a year since I've made a single post. Honestly, I hope everyone has forgotten about this blog, I'm slightly embarrassed by some of the posts I've made, many are humorous though. The original purpose of this blog was to keep my friends, mentors, people who really made an impact in my life back in Portland and Houston updated on my adventures in D.C. and of course I added my political/social commentary here and there lol ;-) But now I'm going to use this more as my personal journal, an outlet for my thoughts, passions, feelings, and rants. Last time I was exceptionally self-conscience of what people thought and how they perceived me through my blog, I won't be nearly as self-conscience this time, this space is more for me than for anyone else. That being said I'm still going to be responsible with what I say, nothing too ignorant lol, offensive or degrading towards others.

So if you're going to return as a regular reader/participant of this blog, keep what I just said in mind, try not to be shocked about what I say or think. My perception of the world is weird, my "truth" is severally flawed, my words are notoriously meaningless but heavy with sincerity and purpose. I don't want to say "enjoy" because again this isn't for you but feel definitely feel welcome to read/participate, maybe there will be something in here you can relate to or even help me with :-) so WELCOME!!!!